| Current mood: |  annoyed |
| Current music: | before it's too late (sam and mikaela's theme) |
| Entry tags: | harry potter |
what's love but this sustaining violence?
It's been a very busy week.
I've finally gotten my ball dress. I think I was high at the time because it's pink, and ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
blademistress, if you don't tease me mercilessly over this I will be very disappointed in you.
I've done several things that probably need recapping, including seeing Transformers, which was so fucking made of win, seeing Order of the Phoenix, and finally watching Hot Fuzz. However, in the light of something major, these all must be postponed for the biggie.
Which is, of course, Deathly Hallows. Which I finally finished reading at 7am yesterday morning after the excruciating pain of having the book all day and not being able to start reading it due to many annoying obligations of various sorts. I picked it up at 2am, intending to read a few chapters before bed, but ended up not being able to put the damn thing down.
So, finally, having composed my generally quite long thoughts:
Points of Interest.
Harry’s parting with the Dursleys. So very stiff, with so much unsaid. I adore Dudley’s final words, and Harry’s bewilderment. Petunia still hovering snootily and Vernon going to extend his hand but withdrawing it at the last minute, not being able to bring himself to shake it.
Hedwig dying completely stunned me (although I can appreciate why she had to die; Hedwig has always represented Hogwarts to Harry when he’s away from it, a respite from the Dursleys and a reminder of that which he will be returning to, and he needed that tie to the school severed). I was in a really, really good mood yesterday, which was amazing, given the four hours’ sleep I’d had the night before, and you know why? Because of a freaking owl, dude. We went to Dymocks to pick up the book and there was an owl, you guys, and I got to hold it. And the lady was all, ‘This is a special friend of Hedwig’s!’ and I was all, ‘Dude, do I look five years old?’ but slightly amused nonetheless and I was pretty freaking unexplainably chuffed about the owl thing.
I’m thinking maybe my subconscious has a thing for owls because on reflection, they’re kind of what made me read the books in the first place. I started reading them at some stage after GoF had been released, before it got kind of crazy over here and only because one of my friends was raving about these books she’d got sent from Canada. She gave a me a run down of the plot, and to be perfectly honest I was extremely bemused and not all that interested until she offhandedly mentioned Hedwig. And for some reason the whole concept of owls, and their place in JK’s wizarding world, were what pulled me in. And I got to hold an owl, and I was happy, and then Hedwig gets offed and I’m left gaping at the book. Which led to a strange bout of denial involving the firm conviction that Hedwig had died for a reason, and that reason was to come back and save the day as deadbutawesome!Hedwig at a later stage.
Needless to say I was kind of let down in that department. There’s my random anecdote for the week.
Moody’s death took me off-guard in the sense that it was sudden, and so early on in the book. I actually thought that he was still alive, and thought maybe he was hiding in the Grimmauld Place, but I wasn’t disappointed to see that he wasn’t. His death was another I could see as necessary.
Hermione altering her parents' memories. Ouch.
I love that Dumbledore left Harry the Snitch, and all about its flesh memory, and Scrimgeour certain something would happen when he placed it in Harry’s hand, but Harry realising he had to put it to his mouth.
I loved that Harry called Remus on all his bullshit. "Oh, I don't know, Hermione, I'd be pretty ashamed of him, actually." Ohhh, snap.
The fact that the trio had a really rough time of it. The arguing. Ron leaving. Painful but necessary.
Horcrux!Harry and Horcrux!Hermione! Oh, poor Ron – they did know where to aim the blows to hurt the most, and Harry yelling at him to stab it and I thought for a moment he wouldn’t be able to.
Ron’s examining the Deluminator. “He knew I’d skip out on you guys.” “No, he knew you’d always want to come back.”
Ron being right about them not using You-Know-Who's name, and the fact that Harry still couldn't stop himself from using it. The perfect way to catch him out.
“He loved you, I know he loved you,” totally made me aww, and reminded me of HBP where Harry tells Dumbledore everything’s going to be okay, and Dumbledore replies, “I know, Harry. I’m with you.”
The Fountain of Magical Unity transforming, and the Ministry going all 1984 on everyone’s asses. The muggle-born register, and the concept of Blood Status. So very awesome. Also Griphook’s vehemence at goblins being disallowed the use of wands, which reminded me somewhat of the treatment of Animals in Wicked.
Laying the wreaths on his parent’s graves had me shedding a few tears. I’m glad he got to go back and have some closure, see where they lived, visit their final resting place.
The house elves and their service. I loved how Harry and Ron were finally honestly listening to Hermione and showing true compassion towards Kreacher, and wanting to let the Hogwarts elves free because they didn’t want them to die for them. It being Dobby, the free house elf, who chose even in his liberty to serve Harry and a cause he believed in, who paid the price for his dedication.
Dobby’s death. So sad. Around this point I was pretty much anticipating death from every corner, and was arguing it in advance (‘Nonononono, you’d better not kill Hagrid!’).
The scene at the Malfoy mansion, where Hermione is tortured, and Ron so very upset. The whole chapter was very powerful and moving, right up to their escape. I love how Griphook lied for Harry about the sword, and his reaction to Harry saving his life. “You are a very strange wizard, Harry Potter.”
The reappearance of every single thing and every single person from every single book ever. Dude. From the Mirror of Erised, to the Room of Requirement, to the diary, the Chamber – Umbridge, Wormtail, Gabrielle, Griphook, Dobby, Kreacher, Krum. Percy!
The total breaking down of Dumbledore’s character, piece by painful piece. As a reader, I felt much like Harry – that I knew Dumbledore, knew his manner, his way of operating, and who he is, only to be kicked in the gut with the realisation that we knew very close to nothing at all. At times I wasn’t sure if I liked it, this almost entirely new character that was being constructed, so strange and foreign and yet so familiar, but at the same time there was a morbid curiosity drawing me deeper and deeper into the web.
Aberforth! So much love. Everyone’s firm conviction that Dumbledore could do no wrong, and endless supply of blind faith in his actions, with the exception of his brother, the only person who really did know him. Lies and loyalties. The painful truth that Rita was right.
Dumbledore pretty much being confirmed as the manipulative asshole I’ve always thought he was and yet still felt affection for – but, in powerful redeeming quality, readily conceding to it.
Dumbledore had to die in the sixth book because Harry needed to be thrust out there on his own, and for the same reason his trust in Dumbledore had to be shattered; Harry’s world was, very much I think, seen in black and white, whereas to have any chance of succeeding he needed to be rooted in shades of grey. To be able to accept that Dumbledore wasn’t all he was cracked up to be, to allow the possibility of Snape’s redemption, and to be able to place enough trust in himself (where Dumbledore seemed to have failed; Harry needed to be able to forgive himself). Dumbledore says that Harry is unimaginably selfless, but in some kind of paradox his selflessness renders him somewhat self centred. Harry feeling the sting of Dumbledore’s betrayal and yet still making the decision to continue his quest for the journey’s sake made his actions more powerful – had he still been blindly and somewhat naively acting under his complete and utter trust of Dumbledore, whom in the past he has placed on a pedestal of perfection, his sacrifice may not have been enough of his own to ensure his own survival.
Harry's realisation that he had taken it for granted that Dumbledore had intended for him to live.
I loved the constant battle raging over the seed of doubt growing around Dumbledore’s motivations, and Harry’s struggle with the fact that Dumbledore had failed to trust in certain things he should have, and yet his seemingly blind trust in Snape that had led to his death; even after having his high regard of Dumbledore suggested undeserved, he still allows Dumbledore to influence his actions. “I’m Dumbledore’s man, through and through,” and he so is <3
The strangely consoling knowledge that Dumbledore was destined for death had Snape killed him or not – his cursed hand, the story he promised to but never did tell, and his own human nature having driven him to his own destruction.
Harry’s signature move being Expelliarmus, and Remus’ pressing for him to abandon it. Even on the brink of war, Harry’s actions are defensive, preventative rather than on the offense, which is him, through and through.
Harry (and even McGonagall) using unforgivable curses (and the whole ‘you’ve got to mean it’). The tragic victory when he gets them to work. Harry’s rage at McGonagall’s being spat at; “That’s very gallant of you, Potter...”
Neville! How freaking awesome is he? Leading Dumbledore’s Army, pulling the sword out of the hat when they’d thought they’d lost it, killing Nagini, defiant til the end.
This is the one fandom where I don’t properly ‘ship anybody (except maybe, James and Lily, and a couple of crack MWPP era pairings) which I’ve always found amusing given the supply of awesome characters. I guess I’ve just always been in it, very strongly, for the plot, a plot that I found to be sufficiently entertaining without romance. For this reason I was relatively ‘meh’ regarding Ron/Hermione, although I did love Ron’s genuine flattery of her, and Harry’s telling Ron how he loved her like a sister, and that Hermione cried for a week after he left. It was an important part of the book, because love, ultimately, is what saved them all.
The Harry/Ginny was nicely downplayed; cleverly undertoned. And that kiss at the start? So hot.
The ghosts! I squee’ed a little inside when Harry decided to go and talk to the Grey Lady. Even Nearly Headless Nick, who is probably my favourite insignificant character, had a short appearance!
The fact that two of the Founders objects were confirmed thefts, and how this tied in with the goblins, and to the general big picture of subjugation that stretched to the house elves, too. I thought the goblins believing goblin-made objects should pass back to the goblins upon death was very nice.
Snape! So much freaking love for Snape.
I had wondered, often, if perhaps Snape had been infatuated with Lily, but his calling her ‘mudblood’ in OotP dismissed the idea to me. Oddly moving to see Lily’s fierce refusal to accept her supposed best friend’s blatant hypocrisy in apologising for his words in reference to her, but continuing to aim them at others. The fact that Snape is overheard referring to Hermione as ‘the mudblood’ reminding us that, though redemption seems to be waiting around the corner, he is still flawed and tragically caught in his ways. Grey.
The fact that Snape and Lily met before Hogwarts intrigued me (and the ‘Sev’ and ‘Tuney’ merely irked me). Petunia’s initial curiosity towards magic, but eventual humiliation and rejection of her sister. The fact that she wrote Dumbledore asking to be accepted is, however, way cool.
I felt perhaps these memories of Lily and Snape’s times at Hogwarts treated them a little too childishly at times; that Lily seemed far younger than her years and that their conversations didn’t always do them justice.
The fact that Snape asked Voldemort to spare Lily (and the confirmation from Voldemort that he had been willing to spare her, in the form of his thoughts, as experienced by Harry; that she need not have died).
Voldemort’s dismissal of Snape’s affections for Lily as merely being akin to the desiring of an object, a trophy, as Riddle was obsessed with; demonstrative again of Voldemort’s inability to understand love, and his underestimation of that which he does not understand, or deems unimportant.
Snape’s Patronus being a doe. Sev, you old softie. I wondered why Harry, being prone to getting excited and jumping to conclusions, didn’t put two and two together and insist upon it being his mother’s to begin with.
Dumbledore telling Snape that he only saw in Harry everything he hated about James because that was what he was determined to see, when in actual fact, Harry was far more like his mother, suggesting that perhaps his inability to tolerate Harry stemmed from the pain of being of reminded of the wrong parent (and his being physical, living proof of an unrequited love). Ouch.
“Do you know he has Lily’s eyes, their little boy? You do remember them, don’t you; Lily’s eyes?” Poor, tortured Snape. The one who seemed incapable of love and yet who loved so much. Especially interesting given the fact that the emphasised distinction between Harry and Riddle – and thus good and evil – is the ability to love. Lily really did save them all.
Snape wanting Lily's eyes to be the last thing he saw before he died. <333
Harry using the Resurrection Stone had me in tears again. “I am about to die.” Ahh, so fucked up. Turning the stone over. This scene was just lovely and bittersweet, especially with Lupin’s appearance. “Stay close to me.” Aww, bless.
The Ravenclaw password system <3
The role of the Malfoys. As Harry’s rival (I’m hesitant to say foil) Malfoy was always hinted at having a role in the unravelling of things, and how desperate Harry was for it to be so! I love that they begin the series as somewhat epitomising Death Eaters to us, and yet are revealed to be generally quite useless at it all. Draco, like Snape, has always seemed bad, but never evil – another person within whom Harry was previously never able to make such a distinction for. It was lovely that they saved his life, twice (“IF WE DIE SAVING HIM, HARRY, I’LL KILL YOU!”) but maintain their dynamic with a well aimed kick; his definitely significant, albeit passive, role in the saga of the Elder Wand. Narcissa’s whispered words to Harry, and willingness to lie to the Dark Lord to seek out her son, again proving how love has no place within Lord Voldemort’s circle.
The painful parallels of those who we see as binary opposites and yet who are revealed to be oh so alike; Harry and Riddle, James and Severus, Dumbledore and Grindelwald, and even Dumbledore and Voldemort. Hallows and Horcruxes. The startling realisation that they are each so alike in their pursuits, and the fact that the only thing dividing them is somebody’s perception of what is right and what is wrong. How we want so much to believe that one is a lesser evil, even for the greater good, when in so many ways they could be the same person.
“Those who are best suited to positions of power are those who are never tempted to seek it,” which echoed of, “There are those who are born to greatness, those who strive for greatness, and those who have greatness thrust upon them,” and the consequent undeniability of Harry’s greatness, which means so much more than ‘The Boy Who Lived’ or ‘The Chosen One’ ever could.
Molly vs Bellatrix. Soso awesome (and to go back, Harry realising Molly has Ginny’s eyes, and everything Molly did to keep the trio apart so they wouldn’t leave. She’s such a mother, and I love her, I really do).
Swear words! Loved the subtle scattering of them throughout the book.
Near the end I was all, dude, Lupin and Tonks died? When? Which meant their deaths kind of left me unaffected, except for leaving their son behind. I kind of figured Lupin had to die, but Tonks. I have a new fondness for Tonks after the movie. :( Their poor orphaned son. Harry being his godfather ftw.
I’m really quite pleased that Harry only destroyed one Horcrux himself (two, if you count the diary, but after beginning his quest); Dumbledore wanted him to keep it to himself but it is only by sharing it with his friends that he succeeded, which is why it was just lovely that Ron, Hermione and Neville each destroyed one on their own.
I was always certain that Harry was a Horcrux, although baffled by how it could be destroyed, in which case I moved on to thinking that Harry’s scar was in fact the Horcrux, and would thusly be removed without Harry’s death. I wasn’t particularly keen on his not-death, but it was intriguing in the least.
I loved the sustained metaphor of Harry as a Seeker, in every aspect of his life, and his own realisation of that fact. Catching the wand like a snitch.
Luna helping Harry disappear <3
I found the epilogue a few steps into the territory of overkill. I know it’s completely likely that Harry would call his children after his parents, but it was still a little forced to me. The cheesy ending with everyone married and with kids, even Draco (Scorpius, the fuck?) just didn’t do it for me. Yeah, Harry deserves a happy life, and it brought things full circle, but I didn’t like having his happily ever after rammed down my throat.
Neville as a teacher <3
I really, really loved Harry’s words to Albus about Snape being a Slytherin and the bravest person he knew. I may or may not have started weeping a little there.
Overall, my expectations were greatly exceeded. I think it is the most well written book, though not necessarily my favourite, which I was not expecting at all. It was so complex, tying everything together, twisting and turning and awesome. It wasn’t just an excellent conclusion to a wonderful plot; it was great writing – exciting, touching and emotional.
I think I’ll start at the beginning and read them all through, now. Because, yeah. I'm really glad I reread Half Blood Prince last week and got myself back into the mood. Because dude. Awesome.
